screamwhatyouare

I missed you As I laid down alone In a bed not a throne Watching the phone I could smell you On the sheets Remember a heart beat Close my eyes and scream I missed you... ...until you came home. I missed you, till you came back to lack what I thought I could stand. i missed you, until you existed in daylight in night time In my time.

If I could wash myself Of myself, I would. This terrible face with lips that lie. Eyes that hide... ..the fact that your love, will die. I wash myself, of you instead.

Sometimes I just don't… feel right. I am overcome with all things nonsense In the sense that there is any sense to be had. And it happens just like that Just like someone strolled up And punched me in the heart... Smashed my lungs in. I am the breath leaving my body, Ever so slowly The pressure is rising I can feel it gathering in my eyes. Staring at the ceiling Trying to dry it out. Turning to the floor Trying to ignore myself. Looking at the door Picturing walking out… Looking, Anywhere Absolutely anywhere, But in your direction. How can I feel so incredibly happy, Yet want to die All in the same thirty sec

I can't get my point across, If I don't even know the point that I am trying to make. Everything feels so forced these days... And I take, And I take, And I fucking take. And leave you with your place In disrepair And unfair decision. The incision Much worse Than the verse I have written. Why does everything That I ever sing Always end with Sorry?

These weeks have made me weary I can't quite see things clearly. I know it's my own fault And I know exactly who I've faulted. More than anyone else, I've done myself in. I've run to the end of this burning road. To hell I go… to hell I go.

Most of the time I want to tear myself apart to see what's really on the inside. Despite the grossness of it all and the nastiness of choice. The bleeding thoughts and the breaking heart. The smashed mind and the gnashing teeth. The beautiful veins filled with wine and the lungs that thrive on tobacco. Seems as though I already know what's there…. But I really don't. All of that is on the outside…. I still need the inside. Turn me around Inside out Upside down Shake me about My earth needs to quake My words need to break My fingers need to feel My eyes want what's real Don't tell me You love me Just because You k